Charmed Life

PS: Don't believe me

Welcome to Venomous Venus.
Here's a sneak-peak into the world of damned dames.

Through this super-blooper face-book tag brought to you by gang-o-girls.

So shoot em all.
The questions.

1. Is it cute when guys kiss you on your forehead?
Just forehead?!

2. A big poofy dress or a short party dress?
Short party dress anytime biatch!

3. What would you do if you received a long love letter?
Write a longer one back.

4. Group dates or single dates?
Woman dates. period.

5. Do you hate it when guys act different around their friends?
They always have different friends. Jerks.

6. Are diamonds a girls best friend?
Girls don't have friends.

7. Is your hair up or down today?
What hair?

8. Do you straighten your hair?
Don't need no straightenin' . All natural baybeh.

9. Favorite mascara?
The dark circle kind.

10. Do you get your nails done?
Guess so. You likey?

11. Small or large purses?
Grande.

12. In your purse, what are your must haves?
My man's wallet.

13. Jeans or sweats?
Sweats ofcourse!
What was the question again?

14. Do you wear clothes/shoes/jewelry that's uncomfortable?
Only if my man asks me to.

15. Do you text message a lot?
I wld wnt u 2 ans tht 1st dawg.

16. How would you dump your boyfriend?
The one who looks like my dad?

17. Whats your favorite color?
Matching.

18. Heels or flats?
xxx shoes.

19. What makeup could you not live w/ out?
Kohl.

20. Do you have cramps?
* whispers * Submit your query here or here and stayfree from all harm.

21. Did you ever cry during a romantic movie?
I'm crying now.

22. Would you ever leave the house without make-up on?
Do I look stupid to you?

23. A man is gay if he..
is not weird.

24. What do you wear mostly?
Men's shorts.

25. Do you like preppy boys?
I like peppy cheese balls.

26. You like lip gloss?
I like glossy lips.

27. Do you own any big sunglasses?
My dark circles look like big sunglasses.

28. How long does it take you to get ready in the morning?
3 days.

29. Do you like to wear band-aids?
Who the heck wears band-aids for fun??
Ooh, but they are pink.

30. Do you like skater boys?
No. Skater boys are gay. Like who'd wanna sweep *himself* off his feet with girls around?

31. Gold or silver?
Platinum, you cheapo.

32. Do you like to receive flowers?
A champakali from Champak or Ali would be fine.

33. Do you like surfer boys?
The wet kinds?

34. Do you dress up for the holidays?
That's boring.

35. Do you like to wear dresseses?
Wtf are dresseses?

36. On a scale of 1-10 how much do guys confuse you?
1 and 10 being what exactly? Damn,I am confused.

37. In the last 48 hours have you hung out with a guy?
With a gang of them. \Soda/

38. Would you date a guy shorter than you?
Depends if he's looking up or straight.

39. Do you like to hold hands?
While peeing?
I saw two guys doing that the other day.

40. What is the youngest you would date?
How young is legal?

41. What is the oldest you would date?
As long as he's not tired or retired. err.

42. What do you notice when you first meet a guy?
That his breath usually smells.

43. What is the worst feature in a guy?
That he usually smells his breath.

44. What is the best feature in a guy?
That he is a guy.

45. Is it hott when guys sweat?
I'm guessing it must be hot. Since they are sweating.

46. Do you like making eye contact?
With what?

47. Would you kill for chocolate?
Chocolate or chocolaty boys. Sure.

48. Would you ever spend all day/night getting pretty for a guy?
I'd rather spend half a day/night getting him drunk. no?

49. On a scale from 1-10 how fun is shopping?
Better than Disneyland. Unless you're shopping at Disneyland. That'd be orgasmic.

50. Do you freak out if you miss your favorite show?
Gossip girls? Like The Gossip Girls? Are you frigging kidding me?!

51. Do you yell a lot?
Slap. Girls don't yell.

52. Do you wear sweatpants/pajamas to school/work?
Sweatpants. It sounds nice.

53. Have you ever dressed unlike yourself to impress a guy?
I used to, this one time. Then I told him I'll see him later. He wasn't good enough for me. I mean. He was a punk. Can I make it anymore obvious. Totally. I mean.

54. Do you fall in love easily?
At the drop of a hat. Bald or no bald.

55. Do you often wish there was something you could change?
Yes. This question.
Please?

56. Do you write a lot of mushy love poems?
Lost in your arms, I feel divine..
You're like my brand of wine..
Yes you're mine. Oh yes,you're mine..
OMG. again,what was my line? o.0

57. What do you think is best about being a girl?
That I got to write this post. Seriously. No kidding. Thankyou.

Believe me.

"So,you will be turning sixteen?"
"Hmm,will have to."[But you can start with your dose of anti-sixteen pills,now]
"How does it feel?"
"Nice."[Now,can I swallow you.err..as a pill I mean?]
"You should know,beta..this is a very crucial stage of life.Beware!"
"Okay"[I'm sure you've spent years perfecting that sneer,aunty.]
"So,I was telling..you gotta overcome the upsurge of your hormones."
"I'll try"[My foot.]

A kinda conversation which always puts my back up...and specially when it comes from people who just can't help but open their foul mouths in a public place.just to show
->When they were your age,they had full control over their outburst of emotions.[or maybe @ 16 they were 60]
->That you should try to follow their footsteps and be oh-so-grateful for this sound advice.[More of sound,less of advice.]
->The kind of people who usually think,anything modern is automatically BAD.
->And again the kind of people,who will be the first one to laugh their guts out,if you end up making any blunder.

Wonder why Teenie rhymes so well with Tiny,yet its not as half as innocent as it sounds.Or maybe its effect is just masked under the gravity of wildness.
Babies look even more innocent to me when they do some thing wild.

Grow up.
The Scene changes.


The most interesting part is the Interval.
So,let April,2008 be that very part for me.

28th March:

Me:Yay,the Boards get OVER.Finally.
Aditee:So,any vacation plans you have made?
Me:Yes,ofcourse.I will make sure I've fun.Real fun.I want to know as much as I can.
[I guess,that should've been 'know myself'.]

Aditee:Know what,you've changed.

Oh and I couldn't agree better.For the better/worse? I was curious.

Having asked a whole lot of people regarding the visible difference in me-

Friends:-
You have changed just the way we have.More confused.More hot headed.Always want to be left alone.

[insert name]:"You think,I should be grateful to you?"
[insert me]:"I haven't had much faith in miracles"


I got mixed opinions from all friends...and the most surprising one was..
"You never existed for me"

I wondered..why with just a group of 50 people in a class,I had actually never tried to know all of them.Made different sets of friends.
->Some were my agony aunts.[Oh yes.There were Aunts in our class too and I am not ONLY talking about marwaris.]
->Some made me feel,My life was a smiley-faced TV Sitcom.(There's a whole lot of admiration for such people who can step back and laugh at themselves.)
->Some made me realise my assets and liabilities.
->Some who played good critics.[Critics who are prone to exaggeration even when they sing your praises.]
->Some made me feel that I hate my school life,badly.
->Some who made me assured,that there's nothing as good as being bad.
->Some plainly admired me.[When I never bothered to return the compliment.]
->Some taught me the art of gossiping.
Pallavi:No Gurneet,That comes naturally to you. ;)
[As we called it "Spicy News"]
->Some who remembered me during recess.(Tiffin,please?)
->Some who remembered me just before exams.(Gurneet, solve this doubt for me.)
->Some who just existed.

I could be any of them.But after having talked to my friends,I knew one thing for sure..
My spontaneity might lead people to miss out on the sensitivity inherent in my personality.

Agreed.



Mumma,told me more than I had asked for.Besides being a mother she is a Virgo too.I should've understood that before. :|

Mom:"Yes,you've changed.I am happy,you have.Thanks to me who suggested you to have an eyebrow pluck.Look,how clear your face is now.You look better than before.Taken after me,that is.
But what's bad is,you have made a life of your own.You wake up,lock your room and start dancing.Why don't you pamper yourself? Look at your cousin,she always takes care of her skin.
You've started back answering me.You only listen to English songs,now a days.You are getting away from your folk.Just gaining knowledge online,won't do you any good.Hit back to reality.Or,I have other ways.*pretends to snatch away the modem*
Have you ever helped me in kitchen? Ever seen,how your Dad demands for immediate food,once he comes home? That's what.You can't impress your husband,if you can't satisfy his stomach."

I started off,by making parathas.
First paratha:Rolled it.A mosquito landed outta nowhere.Crushed.Red paratha.Could be tasty :

"Leave it.You are good for nothing.Just get outta here"

Next,made Lassi.Successfully.
Tea-With Ginger and Basil.With/without Sugar.Little Milk.Learned.Yay.

"So,now what? You think...that's enough? Your mother-in-law will eat Maggi and Sandwiches which you make?"

Tried cooking some more.Period.

Right after having talked to my friend on phone,
Me:Mom,don't listen at key-holes.You can come in.
Mom:When one gets an uncooperative daughter in the extreme,one has to be resourceful.





"I am a Daddy's Girl"

Dad:You have changed.Remember the time,when you watched news with me? We used to travel around the world through our discussions.Now..only when I order for chicken do you sit with me.(huh? Some things will never enter my head) But its fine.I just have one thing to complain.Please don't talk like an express train. : Oh and I feel proud,when I see you taking out your helmet and starting your vehicle.I don't want to see you in suits. Jeans and short skirts,would do.That's it.

My Sounding Board.My Pride-Sis.

Di:"Sitting here,I've had numerous moments of wishing to have someone to talk to,without being bothered by the thought of being judged in return.Loads happen in college,which I wish I could share with you all the time...but sweetheart..it just doesn't happen on phone.I'm sure you must've become quite used to being on your own,without me influencing your decisions,which is great.So all I am trying to ask you for is,you not 'MINDING' the way this is going to happen.Just have faith in me.I find it essential to demonstrate my attachment's depth to you,because I think it is inspiring to know that someone ,so relentlessly like to live,because of you.So I do.Enjoy your adolescence.You deserve dressing up to your worth.If you want to tell me,how much you love me..just do one thing.."Take Care".Love ya gorgeous,muaah."

Couldn't ask for more! Felt like that,never before.


E-friends:
->You type less now a days.
->Innocence Wildest.
->You've stopped replying to my scraps.
->I hate being ignored,Rimmy.
->Na,You're just the same girl whom I've known dancing and rhyming.
->Why do you remain so confused now a days?
->You need Mentos. :|

Weird.

Astro:You need to be calm and learn to compromise.Don’t let emotional or personal matters interfere with what you must complete.Get involved in group activities.A serious look at how you can reform something about yourself that you don’t see as functioning well will put you in an authoritative position.Don't overreact.Don’t take on too much or make promises that you won’t honor. You have to avoid getting in the line of fire or meddling in other people’s affairs. Arguments won’t solve problems they will only make matters worse. Rethink your strategy.



All these opinions kept echoing through my mind,last night.I realised,I forgot to take mine.

Me:This is the time when you feel stuck at a point,from where a single step forward or backward is a whole new world you would secretly like to discover but force yourself to think you can't/shouldn't. Childhood has closed it doors for you while Adulthood hasn't opened them yet.All you wanna do is let go but something always restricts you.You have this sudden urge to do something out of the box.Your Heart rules over your Head.While your head spins,you feel that's where your heart lies.Just this moment you thought,you have had the best time ever ..yet you find yourself screaming "When will this ever end?"..You actually start living a life of extremes.Very odd as it sounds,you crave for a proportional life.As if,you want to use your accelerator and brakes just at the same time. Where you is ME.


->I am confused
->Hell! I dunno.
->I am doomed.
->My head's spinning.
->There's something wrong.er.wait.I am confused.What did I just say? huh? Uff,leave it.
->See,actually I meant to say..that..a..a...a..arre,that only.
->Shut UP!
-> :|

If these were my statements[which they are]
Then..a crazy god has rightly told me,"WOW! This is what we call amazingly annoying"
Or
As my beauty-conscious cousin would've put it,"Reems,Like this..you could've wrinkles.Think about it."

All the assessments were crude,but basically true.



Acting with the sense of some adolescent in the grip of hormonal overload,could be a challenging task.Heh.


Random Thought:This year my birthday cake will be the shape of a big question mark.

They say,dreams seen early morning..if realised once again,come true. =S

This morning,I imagined myself inside a huge empty tube,fast asleep.Some weird creatures crawled..advancing towards me.I became lifeless.That tub now looked like my grave.I wanted to move,rather run.But looked like those creatures were in a mood to play 'lock and key' with me.Them,Snakes.Shiny and spotted with a lubricated hide.I could hear hee-haws from behind...When I woke up..and said to myself..
Oh!
Evil is the new good today,yet again.

When snakes are being talked about,a black cloud passes over our eyes.Scary? Erry? Perilous?

Erm,I'd say Edible.
[Okay.You can wipe that drool,now.]

The two-minutes saga..,does make it what it is today.Yummy enough,to satisfy our tummy.
Cooked it,Consumed that.
Had the venom and experienced bliss.True.


Yes,I am talking about this Maggi-Age!~

Gone are the days when one waited for biryani,to absorb its flavours.Now, even two minutes seem like ages to me.

Me:Mom,I am already late for school.
Mom:Just Two-minutes,please!
Maggi:Cook me,oye!

Don't Laugh.

[Express India tells,Nobody likes Test matches now.Everybody has an eye for T20s.Trying to pack those shortened things in 24 hours leaves us with no time to mourn for our dead. The "obligations" which earlier took 13 days are now finished in 4 days. Wedding celebrations are squeezed to a day or 2 where the bride and groom take a day off to "attend" their wedding.One can see advertisements as "Instant passport photo: 4 copies for Rs. 50" and "Lose 3 kg in 30 days".There are face creams promising to make you fair in 4 weeks and so on...]
So as the world is shrinking, everything in it is shrinking in terms of both time and volume.

Hm.

We all want to make the most of everything in fraction of seconds.Good,we are working hard.Better,we are adapting ourselves to become a part of this rat-race.Bad,we don't realise that "only a donkey works the hardest".Worse,we again can't figure out "the problem in a rat race is that even after you win the race,you are still a rat!"

That was my sudden realisation.Call it,The Timely Mandate!

But for now,I prefer to postpone it..and move ahead to the next section of my post.

My Tribute to Maggi!!

First of all,how it came into existence.

Towards the end of the 19th Century, Europe had its industrial revolution and women started working outside the home. With this arose the need for meals that were easy to prepare, but were just as nourishing and delicious. A brilliant businessman with milling experience, Julius Michael Johannes Maggi (say it aloud 5 times) worked on this need and invented the ‘little MAGGI cube’, also known as the MAGGI stock or bouillon cube.

\In Thy Light,We See Light/

These are the golden words,you get to see the moment you enter the premises of the temple which has celebrated golden jubilee of its existence,recently.I've been there,and seen that for 12*365 whole days now..[okay.I could've simply said,12 years..but did you know,I love multiplying beeg-beeg numbers.anywho..]and as I always claim I'm uniquely priviliged.really.
A child with a lollipop in her mouth,holding her parent's hands,when asked to speak out,makes an innocent face and sings aloud "yaayi re yaayi re,jor se **** aai re".Princi is impressed and the child is asked to join her, from next day,itself.This child was named Rony.[She was considered a He.She had fluffy cheeks and a shiny head.And ofcourse,loads of lollipops in her bag.]
Now Rony has metamorphosised into Reems.That took time.BIG time.Under action of pressure[no.not natural one.tch!]and heat[she worked it out]..she did transform,nevertheless.And all them oh-I-visit-temple-daily people,witnessed it.[Now She is considered a She.Her cheeks are not THAT fluffy any more.She is considered 'Miss Rapunzel',and she steals/snatches lollies from her juniors' bag]
That was all about ME,HE and SHE.[I could say much more.But I've to mention those who helped in the transformation.yes.]


This is my second home,where I've spent 11*365*6 hours,doing so much and still nothing as such.Coming to the section of people now,the ones allowed to wear colour dresses daily[in school].*cholorophyll look* Din't guess it?[They are the T's.If you guessed it,I can only say 'wow'and not give you a share of my pocket money.If you din't,you get the-T-spanking-curse].Many of my buddies[virtual and real] will agree.Them T's are mind-BLOWing.The selected few,who always manage to come up with something new.
My top-ten list,this. :P

1)Miss Ajanta-My favourite."Great things come in small packages".She justifies it totally.The pillar of our school.She has got the gift of the gab.The most integral part of an English medium school,if you guess what she teaches.The benignant smile,she gives when you wish her.The way she tries to shout at you continuously just to make you realise,that she can't get angry.Not a single class,has she taken.. when the student's have NOT kicked buckets[well,desks :s-] laughing.Giggling to Glory,as she terms it.And did I tell you,she is a Libran,too? :P

2)Miss Pande-Be it the Ram-Sita,Radha-Krishna and Nala-Damayanti stories..or the lessons of patience,courtesy and hard work.She has given us all,through her Hindi classes.Her love for perspiration does give me inspiration.You can't yawn in her class.Never.She has some rules which she strictly adheres to.And we respect her for that.
""Antar mera viksit kar de,hey AntaryamiNirmal kar de,ujjwal kar de.."

3)Miss Goswami-Pleasure to learn from her..A strict disciplinarian.Students like us,really need her.

4)Miss Shreza-Perfect handling with numerals."Be it the number of years you live,number of marks you earn in your report-card,number of times you remember the Almighty,number of figures you add to your salary,number of drinks you can make,number of chickens you count in your basket,number of cells which divide and multiply in your body for your growth,ex cetra..Students,it all deals with numbers.Some things.Actually many things in your life,are vague.random.pointless.But direction is needed.Numbers are my stars.Maths,after all is not THAT hard/easy.Practice,it needs.Practise,we don't."*smiles* Had lovely time,with her as a class teacher.

5)Miss Nupur-Got an acid tongue and an alkaline sense of humour.With pink tops in one year and yellow in another,blue tip-top clips and purple saree.She is termed trendy in our school.The boding tremblers could say much more about her.Good in her subject chemistry,nevertheless.

6)Miss Rita-Typical bongo accent,for which I just love her.Recently,I am all curious about the systems of Human body.Thanks to her.From hypothalamus to tympanum,pituitary to pancreas,transpiration to photosynthesis,cell division to population,acromegaly to cretinism..she has taught us all.And them ALL,very well

7)Miss Gauri-Baba Ram Dev Bhakt.Seriously believes,coca-cola is a toilet cleaner.Great with her facial expressions.She has loads of things to tell us,always.Calls me "StupidA gal" and she can even slap you and then ask,"Thappad Khayegi?" :-S

8)Miss Monalisa-Lover of Nature and the laws it follows.Has given us the real need of 'Physics' as a subject in our study curriculum.Petite and pretty.A brilliant Odissi dancer.When she stares at you for more than 5 minutes,you can make out that she is gonna throw any object she has in her hand..at you.And that,she always does.I have been the victim of JUST a chalk.Many of my buddies,have faced pencil-boxes and dusters too.But hey,the teacher is nice.Our Mona Darling.

9)Miss Bindu-The one who takes 45 minutes to correct my notebook or examination sheet.The one who loves each and every word with "Y" at the beginning.Never hesitates to say that she is gonna teach us about "U.N.O"[erm,"You-Yen-Yo"] or "U.S.S.R"[okay,"You-yes-yes-Yaar"] just when she had promised to take us out for games.Argumenting with her is always fun.She can also take History classes,when the clock strikes 5 in the morning.Without yawning once,that too.

10)Miss Sumi-Oh!She can yawn,very well.She is the only teacher who can confess,that yes,"I don't like teaching Geography"..But still she teaches.Haw!
Her classes are worth bunking."Ma'am,may I go to toilet/library?"[and come back,after your class?].."Err,erm,uff,aargh.Phaaeene[She is fine].Go"
I have come-across some strange names of tributaries,ranges,peaks.,which she has learnt by-heart.Them being "Varna,Pravara,Manjra,Pranhita,Koyna,Panchaganga,Dudhaganga";"Maikala[I am black? =O],".^Looks like,I have learnt them too :-S

Okay.So Them were the T's.All good.[Keeping in mind..that Evil is the new good today.-Times of India] :P